The last I would say month or so have been so edifying and just a month full of tremendous growth in the Lord. God has been so good to show me a lot, he has opened my eyes to so much, as He is always faithful to do. Just looking at what God has done and shared with close friends, I realize God's blessings in everything I have encountered...
Since I have grown up in the youth group, I have been taught very sound doctrine and theology. One thing I have longed and prayed for since being a high schooler was to have a Godly way of thinking, in every situation, the first thing to think is "will this Glorify God", or is this that I am doing "Glorifying to God?" Recently for the first time in my life, I feel like God has blessed me with that. I feel like I have grown so much and have such a bigger view of God, wanting to Honor Him in everything. Wanting to deepen my relationship with Christ. I wanted to know Him so much more. Spending time with Him, reading His word. I was starting to actually put all my focus upon Christ, He was my first priority, trusting Him with every aspect in my life. He is my all in all.
About 2 months ago I started getting horrible migraines, then after a month of dealing with the migraines, one morning I woke up to having blurred vision for a few hours. That was a scare for my family and doctor, I was ordered a M.R.I and everything was normal, only a few blocked sinus'. So I was diagnosed with migraines, nothing else. So a couple weeks go by and one Saturday in traffic school I felt like I was dying ( My body flushed, I felt like I was choking and couldn't breathe, my head hurt, I could feel my heart pounding, I had nausea, and I thought I was going to pass out.) Turns out I had an anxiety attack (which I never have had ever.) So the next day at church, it happened again, then again on wednesday before mid-week service. I was told to eliminate all stress from my life, I changed my hours at work and took a couple days off. I talked to my Pastor and I told him I trusted God but I felt like I wasn't trusting God by getting anxiety. I was so frustrated, I felt like I couldn't find joy anymore. I didn't want to do anything, and just cried everyday. I definitely was not myself. So Friday comes along and I am excited, I go out with my friend and his family to a show and dinner at the spectrum. So we are wandering the spectrum, and we run into some friends from my old church, they were out witnessing at the spectrum. I was so blessed to talk to them! So in the show I start feeling claustrophobic and I started panicking, as soon as I felt like that I went outside and called my mom, she prayed with me and I tried to feel better. I was sitting there talking to some friends and out of no where these two random ladies I have never seen came up to me and told me they felt like I needed prayer for something. My first thought, is God you are so good to me! They prayed for me, and left. I felt better for a little and then the panic attack hit me. My friend came out and he calmed me down. I was so upset again that in all of that amazing moment sent from God I still was not calmed.
So Sunday rolls around, and I woke up for church, and was on time. Then I started lagging, I started feeling panicked again. My mom finally called out and was like Hey aren't you going to church? You're late! Church starts at 10 and it was 10:15. So right before I go to leave the house, I go in my mom's room and just started crying. I told her I didn't know what was wrong, I felt like I have lost all my joy. She told me to go on the computer and look up Spiritual Oppression. I went on someone's blog and found this:
---I like this topic...I really want to do my next sermon on this. Ephesians 6:11-17 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
These verses are some of my favorites. They really show us what our situation against satan and sin is as Christians. It's a Battle. Satan is definitely the greatest liar, deciever, and trickster ever. There are two main ways he works: Antagonistically and Agreeably. When Satan tricked Eve into taking the apple, he didn't scare her into it. Satan spoke lies and deceived her into taking the apple. He worked with her, not against her. But since we as born-again Christians have our natures changed and we want to please God and want to do things that glorify Him, we do not listen so easily to Satan's lies. Sometimes we fall and slip, but if we truly have Christ in us, we are less easily deceived by Satan's lies because we know the truth of Christ. But that doesn't stop Satan, so what does he do (especially in times of new belief or trouble)? He attacks us spiritually. He puts on us a weight, a feeling, doubts, guilt, exhaustion, complacency, and many many other things that stall and hinder our walk with the Lord. He makes it hard for us to continue to deepen our walk with God. If you're walking with God and you're content with how deep your walk is and don't really try to have a deeper walk, then let me tell you, satan has a foothold on you and he is slowing your walk. We should always be seeking and striving to deepen our knowledge of who God is and what his character is. We go through tons of spiritual attacks by Satan who uses the slightest twitch of the eye or smallest word we read and twist it and make us doubt. And what does God tell us to do? Put on the Armor of God His truth. Righteousness The Gospel Faith Salvation The word of God.
It says, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all of the flaming arrows of Satan. Have faith and it will pass. Have faith. See, this is something I forget a lot. Any doubts, any fears, any problems we have can be solved by faith. By trusting that God will take care of us because we are His children. Satan's attacks will bounce right off this impenetrable shield.
It also says, take the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 The word of God is immensly powerful. People hold a Bible in their hand and don't realize they have the sharpest sword ever made in their hand. Let's go look at Jesus when he was tempted by Satan. Every time the Devil made an attempt to persuade Jesus, Jesus came back by quoting the Bible and Satan could not do anything but try something else.
So whenever you're in spiritual oppression. You feel bad or you're doubting or you have guilt that is not conviction, simply pray and read your Bible. Now it may take some time for it to go away, but everything has to go through the Father Filter, and if God is allowing you to experience this oppression, He could be trying to grow you in dependency on Him or faith or anything else. Always just come to God and wait on Him to deliver you. Surrender yourself to Him and pray for Him to stop the attacks and to open you up to whatever He wants to teach you and read your Bible.
Hope this helps some people. Love ya'll.---
I started crying, that was exactly it! I was being attacked spiritually... So I ended up going to church with my parents. Within the first 5 minutes the Pastor says "Some of you many be struggling with money, some with health, and some may be struggling spiritually." The whole time I felt like God was speaking to me. (Matthew 18:11-14 says: 11: For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. 12: "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? 13: And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that [sheep] than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. 14: Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.)
He loves me so much, He would never leave me, He will never let me perish! So after the service we got prayer from a family friend who is an elder at their church. I told him everything that had occurred and he confirmed for me that I was in Spiritual Oppression. He told me that Christ was allowing me to Suffer just a tiny bit as Christ once suffered, to be used for His Honor. God was molding me and conforming me into the image of His son. I was being refined all to the Glory of God. I have always thought of pride as arrogance, I was told the guilt of not feeling like I was trusting God was pride. God was trying to humble me of that. I told him that I had been praying to become a junior high leader next year and he told me God was refining me, because those girls need to see Christ in me. I felt so much comfort to know God is in control of everything! He is always with me, he gives me strength to endure everything, especially in the attacks. He loves me so much to send someone to pray with me that random day! I was in awe of God. We prayed and I left with such a bigger view of God and a heart full of so much love for my Beautiful Savior! I felt like I had my joy again, and all I wanted to do was know God so much more. I now see God's hand on everything, Reminds me of Romans 8:28, although I did not see the good in all I was experiencing, I know God was working it out for His Glory, and for my good, it is His promise to us.
(Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.
Romans 8:29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined [to be] conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Romans 8:30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God [is] for us, who [can be] against us?) So amazing.
I was very sick this week, and the doctor says he believes it is acute sinusitis. One that is so bad, it may have lead to infection of the brain, I am out of work for 2 weeks taking antibiotics and resting. I am so blessed by our Wonderful God. Being Refined for His Glory and Honor, Enjoying Him in EVERYTHING!
He is blessing me so much right now, allowing me to go through things that are refining me and are going to bring Glory to His name! I will post more later! Until then, I have been so incredibly blessed by the verses talking about putting on the armor of God. My Dad told me the other morning that before I leave my house, I need to be ready and put on my armor. He was so right... I read this blog recently that hit home... We go through spiritual attacks by Satan who uses the slightest twitch of the eye or smallest word we read and twist it and make us doubt. And what does God tell us to do? Put on the Armor of God His truth. Righteousness The Gospel Faith Salvation The word of God.
Ephesians 6:11-17 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15 and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.